Let's Talk about Sex


No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it- 1 Corinthians 10:13

“Sex is awesome!  Sex is kind of gross!”  I’ve heard many different things over my life about sex, especially “wait until you get married.”  Wait, what did she say?

When my husband and I were dating, we knew in order to honor God with our relationship, we had to stay pure, no sex until marriage.  We dated about 2 years and never once had sex, close call, but nothing occurred.  I don’t need to explain the almost but I will tell you staying pure was the best decision for our marriage.  “Why wouldn’t you test drive the car before taking it off the lot?  How do you know you are even compatible?”  All the questions my husband was asked when people found out we were waiting until our wedding night.  The reality is

God created sex to be between husband and wife because He knew we wouldn’t be having sex with a body but with a soul.

My husband and I were not virgins, which every person who has waited and wasn’t a virgin knows how HARD waiting can be.  The honest truth is that our marriage was very hard at first.  There were scars from my past I had to ask the Lord to help heal because honestly, it affected our sex life.  Past experiences don’t make you better in bed, in fact they cause expectations towards your spouse and those cause frustrations. 

Waiting was the BEST thing my husband and I did for our marriage because it created a real great experience, a safe and blessed bedroom.  But how is it possible to actually wait until the wedding day?  What if you are dealing with insecurities from your past or feeling regret in your marriage?

When dealing with insecurities or regret there are a few things I believe that have helped me:
  1. Seek Help
    • Counselors do something causes you to open up and end up in the corner in a fetal position.  Afterwards, you feel so much better because they helped you find the source of the problem.
  2. Talk to your husband or wife about how you feel
    • I'm a huge advocate on communication in your marriage; therefore I will always tell you to talk to your spouse about any issues.
  3. Lift up any regrets to God and know He has forgiven you and already doesn't remember your sins.
To wait until that wedding night takes a lot of prayer, seeking God, and seriously coming together as a couple.  Here are some things that worked for my hubby and me:

  1. We kept ourselves in groups or public places in order to avoid temptation.  It was easy at first but gets extremely hard afterwards.
  2. Don't compromise.  Pushing the boundaries can lead to giving in.
  3. Be prepared to face challenges because it is not easy.
  4. You don't need to see if you're "compatible" before getting married.  He's a male and you're a female, get the picture?
Jesus,
You created sex to glorify you and sex is awesome with our spouses.  Please help those who are struggling and give them strength to wait for that special blessing of the wedding night.  In Your name Amen.

For His Glory,
Lizzy


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