Creating a Marriage with Open Transparent Communication


Genesis 2:25 The man and woman were both naked and were not ashamed.

Communication is defined as a connection between people or places, in particular. Connection is defined as a relationship in which a person, thing, or idea is linked or associated with something else. Relationship is defined as the state of being connected by blood or marriage.

Did you notice how communication and  connection go hand in hand? We as humans are great at talking, but fail at communicating. A survey was conducted by marriage therapists and found that 85% of marriages struggled because of lack of communication. In a recent article written by familylife.com, the writer states if you don't communicate, your marriage will die. Ouch! Isn't that a scary thought? Your marriage will die if you don't communicate. Let that sink on a little and ask yourself, "Am I communicating with my spouse?"

Communication takes work, lots and lots of work from both parties. One spouse may want to discuss the issue, while the other spouse may simply want to sweep it under the rug. The thing is that it isn't their fault not wanting to communicate about an issue. Some families function that way and that is how a spouse could have been raised.  As the spouse who communicates, your job is to speak to your spouse with kindness, having patience to show your marriage is a safe zone.

Proverbs 16:24 Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

In order to create a safe zone with your spouse to have open communication, it'll have to begin with you.  You will have to learn the meaning of transparency.  Transparency is the deepest way of communication between husband and wife, allowing open communication to happen naturally. A couple with transparency allows mistakes with grace, failures without judgment, and a spouse to be completely vulnerable.

Proverbs 12:18 There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Are you bringing healing into your marriage? It takes practice and I am far from perfect in this area.  I have learned a few tips to help me be a better communicator from my counselor and here are 3 tips to help you:
1. Be Honest. It goes both ways. If you want to be honest with your spouse and have him or her accept you and love you afterwards, you must be the same way. Honesty is the best thing for your marriage and life in general. Many times we as women want our husband to be honest, but when he says something that we find upsetting, we shut them out.  We judge them, we yell at them and make them feel small. Remember, your marriage should be a major safe zone.

2. Be transparent. Have you ever been able to go to someone and tell them you did something bad or wrong and they just told you it was going to be okay? They didn't judge you or condemn you, all they did was be there for you? That is exactly how you should be with your spouse. He or she should be able to come to you with any issue or struggle they might be facing and be completely vulnerable. Everyone wants to have a where you're married to your best friend, yet you don't want to help them overcome struggles.

3. Have Grace. It's okay fail at something you've worked so hard to accomplish.  One little mistake should not determine your future.  When you strive to have an amazing marriage with open communication, there will be many times you don't want to have grace. You are to give your spouse freedom to come to you openly with any struggle.  Show yourself that grace as well, bring it to God if you feel overwhelmed.

Marriage is hard. Being vulnerable is hard. Being open and vulnerable is hard.  One of the ways to begin is giving it all to God. Start by asking Him to help you have understanding in your heart towards your spouse.  Begin open communication now and let your spouse know you want a marriage without limitations on communication.

For His Glory,
Liz

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